Learning more about yourself can be a fun and exciting experience. We all love to read quotes, made-up example-situations, and general descriptions we can yell out “that’s what I always do/say!”. We are all sort of self-absorbed in that innocent kind of way.
After my first lection in one of my papers at AUT, Leadership, I was really excited about getting to learn so much about myself. At least, I thought I was learning something new about myself. Everybody enjoys hearing things as “fun, entertaining, strong, brave and wise”, because those are the descriptions you want to relate yourself to.
Now I understand that the first lecture was basically things I already knew, such as that I’m strong-willed, determined and optimistic. My true learning was yet to come.
The third week, we started to learn about our weaknesses, which is a bit more sensitive topic. I think most people are aware of their weaknesses, but we often suppress this kind of knowledge, in order to avoid having to do something about the problem. I have always had a short temper, a pride that refuses me to realize my mistakes, also affecting my actions in a negative way, and a revengeful way of thinking. I’ve always just considered it to be a part of my personality, not realizing they are actually weaknesses that damages my personality.
As dumb as it may sound, that actually opened up a whole new world to me, completely changing my way of thinking. Previously, I released a massive rage driven by anger and frustration the second I found myself in a situation I did not know how to handle. Now, I find myself thinking out a reaction, analyzing if the actions I’m planning is correct or influenced by anger, and actually trying to figure out the consequences due to my attempted reaction. By practising this, I’ve learned that most of my actions are influenced by self-centered reasons. It was not a pleasant discovery, but neither a surprise. Perhaps I always knew this, but decided to suppress this without even realising it.
Learning about yourself can be both a pleasant and a uncomfortable journey. No matter what the result might be, there is always knowledge to take wisdom from, and changing is never impossible as long as the goal is clear and sincere.